everything is inside out.

my grandmother is blind, but tells no one. breaks my heart.

family secrets too dark to type are coming to light.

i've become a grown up. a college graduate. funny. i'm broke as hell and thinking about applying for food stamps. or just maxing out a credit card. isn't that the way to do it?

Putting all my angst into something more than my online (and paper) journals is working well though. I began some building projects. Making a big folding screen for my studio apartment so it feels less like one f-ing room...Painting my bookshelves...sending beautiful mail to people.

Graduating from college has done wonders for my creativity. Thank god for that. I was certain it had left with my imagination some time ago.

more. one day.