i have learned two new things:

1. I have good friends. the true blue sort.

2. i am a capable human being.

the first i actually already knew, i was just reminded. the second is a bit of a surprise to me. i had my thesis orals and afterwards was told that it was the best defense any of the four professors had seen in their careers. my advisor later gave me a funny complement "your mind is like this" and she snapped her fingers real quick. apparently i think on my feet. i must admit, i'm proud of myself, but a little perplexed. i'm just doubtful of my ability, i suppose.

just a couple more things to do, and i'll have served my time. i'm perplexed by that too.

what the hell is going on? how did i get here? how am i the same girl? i just don't understand the continuity in my life sometimes, and then other times i just don't understand the changes. by almost anyone's definition, i'm doing well for myself. how unlikely, the place i've ended up. or maybe it only seems that way from my perspective.

ah...go write a paper. stop thinkin' about yrself so damn much.