my good mood, against all odds, seems to be sticking.

dealing with trauma of the heart (let's call it what it is: disappointment, wounded pride, and the pain of being wrong), academic woes, and the strange behavior of people who can't see past their own noses...well. let's just say i'm surprised at my good spirits.

a lot of it has to do with the certainty that i've been handed in the past couple of days. i don't know what to say about it, except that for a girl so concerned with the not-boring, i'm much steadier when i know what's going on. mostly, i'm just realising what a good friend that sweet nail-biting boy is. and will be. perhaps being so giddy about a summer with a boy i won't kiss is strange, but mostly i'm just enthralled with the idea of falling into the uncomplicated kind of friendlove we seem to be cultivating. much less drama this way, i imagine.

things never turn out like i expect. or even want. but then, this whole situation is better than what i imagined.

honestly. if g-off hadn't made me cry now, i would have smushed his heart later. and i'd rather do the crying and get it over with. i like him too much to hurt his little heart. more than i have, that is.

i should watch the way i speak when i'm angry. it's too sharp, i think.