i finally ate some real food today. a good sandwich with lots of good things falling out the sides. i remember why eating is good for me. sometimes, i forget. mostly because school keeps me so busy, and leaving the library takes so much effort. but also for other reasons.

i spend a lot of time trying to ignore the hard parts of my life (family, money, future, friends, not-friends, love, not-love, and all the rest) that i end up ignoring myself. those things, i think, are me. i've got to stop hiding on the third floor of the library when i want to cry.