Main Entry: nos�tal�gia

Pronunciation: n�-'stal-j&, n&- also no-, nO-; n&-'st�l-

Function: noun

Etymology: New Latin, from Greek nostos return home + New Latin -algia; akin to Greek neisthai to return, Old English genesan to survive, Sanskrit nasate he approaches

1 : the state of being homesick : HOMESICKNESS

2 : a wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition; also : something that evokes nostalgia

yup, that's how i feel today. thank you merriamwebster.com.

it's such a strange physical ache for me; i don't know quite what brought it on. lonliness, i suppose. it's a feeling i've had a lot in my life, and feeling it again just makes me a tiny bit wistful. an email from a long-ago boy, on the other side of the world, telling me he loves me and that he hopes i'm running where ever i am. strange boy, that one. but sometimes i have moments where i remember his face in the sun and his squinty smile. that is all so far away form me now, i feel like it was another life, almost. another me, for sure. i wouldn't be able to do that again, or anything similar, for that matter. well, i take that last clause back. i don't know what i'm capable of avoiding in relationships. of course, i like to imagine myself as independent and all of these other things, but most of that is just my pride's imagination.

oh, this is becoming a depressing entry. i just feel like putting my head on the cold floor and closing my eyes. but, um, i'm in starbucks. i'll wait until i'm home.

i think i'll go to a yoga class or something. i could use some reminding to breathe.