honestly, i have no idea what i'm going to do with myself. i'm very anxious about this summer. i'm never able to tell if i'm happy or not, and i'm quite worried that i'll be miserable all summer and not know it until after the fact. maybe that's not true at all and i'm only worried about living out of a suitcase for three months and getting everything taken care of properly. trying to please every single person, and feeling like i'm not doing a very good job. and no doubt new york city will have its own stresses; expectations and disappointments and heat and so many people. and still, i have so many god damn things to do, and i'm not motivated to do any of them. just simple things: sending away a couple of applications (housing, classes) paying a couple of bills (energy = 500 dollar as of yesterday. who the FUCK are these people?!). nothing i shouldn't be able to handle. but i have far too many things to do...but none of them are getting done. paper on top of paper on top of seminars and quals (when do we find out!?) and moving and insomnia.

okay. here's what i'm doing today:

*sending the important mail.

*going to class

*going to the fucking gym (pe is the stupidest requirement since science and math)

*reading for cold war paper

*begin poco paper

that is all i think i can handle today...but i've really got to get a move on. get going. shake a leg. rock n roll. hop to.