and here i am. sitting in new freaking jersey, across from a boy who's eating snacks and writing code and looks like my idea of messy perfection.

i've never felt my heart beat so fast and hard as when i was coming up those stairs at monroe and 6th. i understand that cliched line about hearts jumping out of chests. i completely understand. i felt faint, i was dizzy, my heart was going faster than the plane i came on, and then i opened that door. and i saw him with his confused eyebrows and i knew in that instant that i am emphatically, dramatically in love. and i'm happier and more at peace in his presence. certainly, i have the same concerns, but we are able to exist together in the most comforting way, like a silent, belly-full ride back on the subway.

yes. being with james is like having the fullest belly, except it's my heart.