Well. I am back in beautiful Texas. Thank god for blue skies and music too loud in my very own car. Driving is such stress releif for me...

I've been looking for apartments in Portland on the computer all damned day. It's looking like Wimbledon is more expensive than it ought to be for the price. We shall see. I suppose I'll end up living somewhere and it really won't matter much.

James is being...space-y. And distant in a weird way. And for all it's worth, I understand that things have been stressful lately. But christ on a crutch, I feel like he is too callous with me sometimes. Too much raising his voice and cursing. It makes me angry at myself. Strangly, I'm not angry with him at all. I suppose that says something about me and my relationship. Perhaps I'll not delve into that at the moment. I must berate myself more first. The problem is not that I'm too attached to him, I think I could honestly take or leave this relationship next semester, but I hate the thought of someone who like(s/d) me so much deciding against me. Feeling the same way about me that I feel about Michael ("oooh, he's a little crazy and manipulative"). And nothing makes me more insecure than someone telling me I'm crazy. Hello, I know this. I do not need anyone else reenforcing it for me.

Well. Craaaaazy Maggie has to go to work now.