This past few (10) days has been quite full and makes me wish I had more oomph available to write with. There's the puppy, the boys (always--i hope no one thought that in 10 days nothing would have happened), and the parents.

This entry is hard to type because the little dog is yapping from here 'til next Tuesday. Oh, back in Houston. Already been balled out by my crazy uptight father, confused by that same damned boy (I refuse to type his name again, please refer to previous entries), and more confused by emails from Haiti. At the least the very last makes my little heart warm and jumpy. The other two just give me a headache and make me hide under my bed.

Well, okay, I'll type his fucking name (see? I'm so confounded I curse!). James and I made moves in what I would consider relationship direction. Okay, I'm skirting the issue here. We spent the night, and drank too much (or maybe we drank too much and then decided it was "best" if he didn't drive any more--lord lord). However, his motor skills weren't all impaired. So to speak. The point is, I want one thing and he doesn't ("freeeeeee biiiird!"). Or I think I want one thing, mostly because he won't give it to me. And I guess that's fine, but I need to get my heart, or what's passing for my heart, out of the way of this on coming train.

Wait, I leave tomorrow. And it's doubtful he'll come to visit Portland. Thus, I am rid of him until I move to NYC, and then he'll just avoid me again anyway, so no problem.

I can tell I'm stressed though because my skin looks like shit and I don't even feel like typing anymore about James. Oh, but I ought not complain too much. I'm overstating things. Really, he's a friend. And I know what I should and shouldn't be doing with him, and I insist because I'm horribly self destructive. Oh, wait, I mean...I like the way his hands look near me, and I like the way he breathes when he's asleep, and more than all those things, I like the way I feel when we laugh together.

I'm being crazy. I feel that way about people in general. Well, hands excluded in most cases.

I go to New York City far too soon, day after tomorrow. I'm going to be on planes for far too long. I need to call Molly, very soon. Weeee...I am awfully pleased I'll get to play with Hunter come the 19th. Whew boy, there was never a more golden kid.

With that, I'm going to brace myself for breakfast with my yelling father.