I'm feeling very melty this evening. Inside, my feelings are twisted themselves together, like it's not hard enough to understand them one at a time. And when my heart and pride (I may combine these words: pri-art) jump in they just further confuse my job.

And I've been led to believe that figuring out what goes on inside myself is somehow beneficial. It's not clear who benefits. Probably other people. They can stop wrinkling their brows at me and my impossibilities when I'm calmer and settled.

James and I will chat tonight. I bet I bring up coming to visit me...and I bet he gets grumpy and bristly. Or maybe he just wont call. Silly me, thinking it would be fun to invite a friend to stay with me in a hip town. drama always strikes at the weirdest possible moments.

I'm trying lately to be more of a human in my own right. No parents (not allowed to move home) and no drama friends who want to take my energy from me. I want my life to be easy this summer, and worry isn't on my plate at all. All this James worry seems to have lived a whole life in his head...before i got to hear any of it. Not into it, really, just on the fact that it makes me an insane girl.

Alright. this note must be scatterded from every which way...excuse my drug habit.